Culture shock.
Those two words that every missions or cross-cultural course tells you about. They tell you what the relative timeline of it will be. The symptoms of it. How to overcome it.
And yet it still doesn't seem to be enough.
I was arrogant enough to think that I had escaped culture shock. Yes, there was a short period in my first month in South Africa where I realized that I had it, but that quickly went away, and I just went on with my everyday life (whatever that is). I often am asked what the major differences are between South Africa and Canada, and half the time I can't even really think of them. So I just assumed that I had adapted to this beautiful country and was safe from the dreaded culture shock.
And then someone pointed out to me that I was experiencing culture shock without even realizing it. What?!? How could I be experiencing culture shock? I didn't have any of the classic signs. I wasn't feeling sad or lonely. I wasn't angry or unwilling to interact with others. I wasn't overly concerned with my health. I wasn't idealizing Canada or creating stereotypes of South Africa (believe me, there are so many stereotypes already existing in South Africa that I don't need to create anymore!). If I wasn't experiencing any of those things, how could I be in culture shock?
I was, and still am, experiencing a different kind of culture shock. One where I am literally in shock after spending time with people. I don't know how to deal with their stories. I just sit there open-mouthed and wonder how on earth these people have lived such different lives than I have. I honestly don't understand it. At first, I was sad and felt so sorry for them when I heard their initial stories. Then I watched them interact with their friends and families. They opened up more to me and I heard more about who they are and why. And I realized I wasn't sad anymore - I'm angry! I'm angry with them because their stories are one-sided. They don't realize that much of the reason they have such hardships is because of their own choices. I am not trying to say that they haven't had extremely hard lives or that circumstances have had no influence on where they are today. However, instead of overcoming circumstances, they seem to blame them or others for everything that is wrong in their lives. And the reason I am angry with them is because these people are my friends, and they don't want to see that the lives that they are living are leading them down a path of destruction. I'm angry that they are hurting themselves. (Please note - this is not a generalization of all South Africans. This is simply what I have experienced with a couple of ladies and their families. Not everyone that I work with is like this.)
So I guess I have experienced culture shock. I have been sad. I have been angry. I get frustrated with their inability to see things the way I see them. But I don't think that this culture shock is something that will just pass away with time - in fact I don't want it to. I don't want to just accept their sin or lifestyle as something that is okay. I want to be challenging them, forcing them to look at their lives with new eyes, and see that maybe there is another way that is better. Not MY way, but JESUS' way.
Those two words that every missions or cross-cultural course tells you about. They tell you what the relative timeline of it will be. The symptoms of it. How to overcome it.
And yet it still doesn't seem to be enough.
I was arrogant enough to think that I had escaped culture shock. Yes, there was a short period in my first month in South Africa where I realized that I had it, but that quickly went away, and I just went on with my everyday life (whatever that is). I often am asked what the major differences are between South Africa and Canada, and half the time I can't even really think of them. So I just assumed that I had adapted to this beautiful country and was safe from the dreaded culture shock.
And then someone pointed out to me that I was experiencing culture shock without even realizing it. What?!? How could I be experiencing culture shock? I didn't have any of the classic signs. I wasn't feeling sad or lonely. I wasn't angry or unwilling to interact with others. I wasn't overly concerned with my health. I wasn't idealizing Canada or creating stereotypes of South Africa (believe me, there are so many stereotypes already existing in South Africa that I don't need to create anymore!). If I wasn't experiencing any of those things, how could I be in culture shock?
I was, and still am, experiencing a different kind of culture shock. One where I am literally in shock after spending time with people. I don't know how to deal with their stories. I just sit there open-mouthed and wonder how on earth these people have lived such different lives than I have. I honestly don't understand it. At first, I was sad and felt so sorry for them when I heard their initial stories. Then I watched them interact with their friends and families. They opened up more to me and I heard more about who they are and why. And I realized I wasn't sad anymore - I'm angry! I'm angry with them because their stories are one-sided. They don't realize that much of the reason they have such hardships is because of their own choices. I am not trying to say that they haven't had extremely hard lives or that circumstances have had no influence on where they are today. However, instead of overcoming circumstances, they seem to blame them or others for everything that is wrong in their lives. And the reason I am angry with them is because these people are my friends, and they don't want to see that the lives that they are living are leading them down a path of destruction. I'm angry that they are hurting themselves. (Please note - this is not a generalization of all South Africans. This is simply what I have experienced with a couple of ladies and their families. Not everyone that I work with is like this.)
So I guess I have experienced culture shock. I have been sad. I have been angry. I get frustrated with their inability to see things the way I see them. But I don't think that this culture shock is something that will just pass away with time - in fact I don't want it to. I don't want to just accept their sin or lifestyle as something that is okay. I want to be challenging them, forcing them to look at their lives with new eyes, and see that maybe there is another way that is better. Not MY way, but JESUS' way.
Thank-you for your openness and honesty Amanda. I have always loved this about you. This is something that God is opening my eyes to even here in Canada. It's frustrating but we have to find a way to help them see. To see the truth and hear it in love.
ReplyDeleteIt is great to read your blog and have been encouraged by your openness and honesty. We have been experiencing culture shock as well and haven't even realized it. You are in our prayers as we both experience life on this side of the ocean!
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